Don’t let perimenopause ruin your (sex) life.

In a survey of OB/GYNs aka doctors who just work with women, only 6% actually feel comfortable treating women during the transition out of their reproductive years.

So if you have had a frustrating conversation with your provider, know that you are not alone. I am a pelvic health specialist and I am spending a lot of time learning more about this phase of a women’s life to make sure those uncomfortable conversations are a thing of the past.

One of the biggest complaints women have is they feel like perimenopause or menopause has ruined their ability to enjoy intimacy or even be interested in it.

Perimenopause is a period of transition where our brains and bodies are changing. (Full disclosure, I am 41 years old so I am also in the thick of this hormonal transition.)

Dyspareunia, which is the medical term for painful sex, can happen due to non hormonal reasons, but for today Im going to focus on why perimenopause can cause painful intercourse.

Lets start with my favourite hormone Estrogen, during perimenopause, periods can start to become irregular, this can mean a change in hormone production and for many a decline in the hormone estrogen.

Low estrogen symptoms can include, vaginal dryness which can lead to very painful sex. Our pelvic floor muscles which are supposed to be able to relax during insertion (this can be a penis but doesn’t have to be) then anticipate pain and tense up instead.

So what’s a person with an XX brain to do?

Lets start with moisturizers and lubricants. Hormone changes impact the ph balance of our vulvar tissues, this means the external genitalia, labia and clitoris, using a daily vaginal moisturizer can really help those sensitive tissues feel better. I love brands like Good Clean Love and Medicine Mama.

Lubricants matter, use a good quality water or silicone based lube. Again Good Clean Love and Slippery stuff are good examples of water based, Sliquid and Uber Lube are good when it comes to silicone options.

As I mentioned hormones specifically estrogen can also play a role in how our vaginal tissues are doing during perimenopause so a bio identical vaginal estrogen like Estradiol is something to talk to your medical provider about.

Finally, as a pelvic health therapist my job is to help you meet your goals of regaining confidence in your body and reclaiming your life and I have lots of ways to do that.

So if your life (or sex life) isn’t going as planned during this transition phase of life there is help and hope.